you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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