Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
