Already got asked if we're dating
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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