Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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