I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
whose ass print is on the piano?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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