is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
