You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
