I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
