bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
