I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
