I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just gargled with NyQuil
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
