Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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