He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
