Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
