May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
