you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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