im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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