quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Randomize
