Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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