would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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