Cold hands, warm shart.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
