I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
