I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
