oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize