some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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