i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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