Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
