Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
