Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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