woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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