and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
