I bet he comes in French.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
