Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
