So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
