carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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