i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
