Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
