I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
