is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
