What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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