u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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