at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
