benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
