She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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