I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
