Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She bit a glass in half.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
