Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
