I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
