I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
