One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
